4 months post

Today is 4 months post surgery. I’ll be busy today. Which I can’t say is true of the 3 month, 2 month or 1 month mark; I’m starting to feel and act like a human again.

Later today we’ll travel to C and M’s house, my sister-in-law and her husband. I’m excited for a mini trip, since the last one went fairly well. We’ll be there for 4 days and celebrate Christmas with V’s side of the family. Aside from minor worrying about food, I’ve been excited about the trip. Of course, I almost always worry about food, so that’s no different than usual.
And to be clear, it’s not worrying like the normal person might worry. It’s more:

Will there be enough protein I can eat?
What if there are cookies, or cake, or mashed potatoes? What’s my plan for that?
What if there’s alcohol or soda?
What if there is something I can’t eat? Do I eat it anyway, to be polite?

Just the normal worryings of a post-surgery girl.

The answers, in case you’re wondering…. (All said in a ‘go get ’em’ coaching voice to myself)
There may or may not be enough protein. You’ve always got your back up protein drink mix in your purse.
You may eat one cookie, or one bite of cake. Potatoes are a no-no. Stay strong.
No alcohol. Get used to water. No carbonation. Get used to water.
Don’t eat anything you don’t want to. You’re not a people pleaser anymore. Make good choices, for yourself. At the end of the day, that’s the only person you have to answer to.

I’ve been going through my old t-shirts to find something to wear. I put on an XL two days ago that I bought almost 2 years ago on a trip to Nova Scotia. I was so surprised when it fit. I mean that it didn’t look ridiculous. I looked like a regular person.

But, trust me, you are not interested in seeing me naked, as good as I look with clothes on, that’s the limit. My body is like a freak show. I can literally grab handfuls of my thighs and my stomach. I actually made V laugh last week by grabbing everything I could of my stomach and smoothing it all together. It was disgusting and hilarious.

I’m down 74 pounds. Almost, so close, thisclose, to being halfway (75 pounds). I was beating myself up about only losing 2 pounds over the last two weeks, but then I thought about the 4-5 parties we’ve been too. And all the crap I had been eating. It doesn’t matter how little you eat, it’s still crap. And I paid for it with terrible constipation and an upset stomach.

My workout schedule has also been off. But now that I’m at the 4 month mark, I can head back to the gym for some light weight lifting and circuit training. My favorite. Couple that with the running and I think I’ll start to see those pounds drop off again, then those occasional cookies won’t be so bad.

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